Time for treats...

Yes folks, even a crusty old dragon like me still has birthdays and it is at that time you don't mind people remembering you are aging if they celebrate by giving you something you have always wanted.


Although my birthday is a few days away, I took nathanial out today on a shopping expedition as he had expressed the desire to get me something I really wanted.

And what did I really want?

A Dragontail.

Yum.

It flicks beautifully....what more can I say?

He's such a thoughtful boy.

Protocols...

I found myself on the wrong end of the stick the other day when I inadvertently breached a D/s couple's relationship and behavior protocol.

In discussions with the Dominant concerned, it was revealed that some of the submissive's vanilla work commitments were monitored and managed by the Dominant. This arrangement was something they had decided between themselves and was not information available in the public arena.  Certainly my not knowing of this arrangement meant I would fall foul of their protocols if I was to contact the submissive about this professional vanilla activity. My apology was accepted however it was a dead cert given that there would be a breach of protocol as their arrangement was not in the public domain.

I can understand and appreciate the need for protocols within relationships as I have them in place myself.  However I do not unnecessarily inflict them on others without consultation as has been done in this case.  I am careful to ensure that protocols for the behavior of my submissive remains between the two of us.  When he is to have personal contact with other dominants, we establish how he should behave given each and every situation with respect to the other dominant concerned. He understands that if he is contacted personally, he can seek my advice on how to handle the approach if he is unsure and I trust him to act responsibly and respectfully.

Everyone in a D/s relationship has a different manner in which they conduct their business, if you like, and I don't believe it is anyone's right to inflict their standards on non participatory others without some form of warning or sharing of information. It sets up a nonconsensual interaction which in itself is disrespectful.

A simple statement on a public profile could avert embarrassment and ensure that protocols are not breached.

Only one question remains...if approaching the submissive about something of a vanilla professional work related nature without the Dominant's permission is verboten, then why is the self same submissive allowed to 'friend' dominants with whom he is not permitted to communicate? 

"The Suspects"

Last night I happened to catch an episode of this reality TV show screened on Channel 7 (Aust) and was progressively drawn into the first story featured - being the murder and body dumping of a girl in Queensland.  Prime suspects for this grisly crime were the male friend and his girlfriend.

As the plot unfolded it became increasingly evident that this was a case involving what appeared to be some "kinky sex practices" despite all the wider friends group proclaiming how nice the man and his girlfriend were and that he and the victim were really good friends.

Eventually the man and his girlfriend are charged and found guilty of manslaughter (I believe) and this was based on a witness coming forward and describing what appears to have been a nonconsensual rope and breath play session.  When confronted with this statement, the accused had admitted that the death had been accidental as he had been suspending her from a curtain rail and she had slipped while he was out of the room and strangled.

The voice over at the end of the proceedings then qualified that there had been some form of reassessment of the case and the charges had been downgraded to death by sexual misadventure. 

The above synopsis may not be entirely accurate as I am relying on memory here and can find no material relating to the episode screen on the appropriate TV channel's website.  Despite this I was forced to consider just exactly how, where and with whom we practice what it is that we do....

The TV programme skirted round the the whole BDSM issue and didn't actually come out and say that this was a scene gone wrong and was then clumsily covered up.  The closest they came was calling the practices of the two accused 'kinky sex'.  There was actually no mention at any time that there had been any sexual activity between the parties concerned at all.  Play wrestling, rope, curtain rails, trees and plastic bags were mentioned 'carefully'  by the actors in the reconstructed roles of police officers....

Whatever transpired between the three will no doubt remain with those three - but the outcome serves as a timely warning to all in the scene never to leave someone alone when they are roped and suspended.

My alarm bells were ringing over the statement tendered by the witness which lead to the successful prosecution of the pair.  She came to police after recognising the police picture of the accused man and reported an incident which took some months before in the bush.

She described some activities, the full details of which I am sure we will never be privy to, which sounded in the context given as if they had been rope and breath play again using plastic bags.  What came out of the presentation of this information was that this appeared to be a non consensual act on behalf of the witness.  She reported the incident as if it had been an attempt to kill her.  It may well have been.  It may also have been a negotiated play that didn't pan out the way she expected and she decided to get some of her own back...again who knows? 

No doubt this case was well reported in the papers at the time it took place and has now moved into the annuls of reality crime TV.  The manner of presentation did not come out screaming for the heads of all those kinky BDSM practitioners nor did it really play up that aspect of the matter.  No one wants to see needless loss of life and this serves to remind us all that we should take care with what we practice.